.
Even with eyes closed, I see clearly how my present has
overturned the past. Years ago, today would have been a day invariably colored with all
the hodgepodge accompaniments of the occasion. Flowers, yes. Chocolates, yes.
Books, trinkets, the insufferably cute stuffed toy, check. Emotional inanities
and furtive displays of affection, check.
Today, it is just another day with random greetings on the
phone, a wayward email from the ex insisting on false pleasantries, work continuing to pile
up, random meetings, mommy duties.
In the evening I suddenly decided to quit obsessing
over work and go home. On impulse, I open a bottle of red wine and pour myself a
glass. I nibble on some leftover chocolate, handing some of it to baby Jet, who
proceeded to spread brown mush all over his cheeks. After a while, the boys get
sleepy and go upstairs, leaving me to the TV. There's nothing much to watch, and with
my erratic schedule, I seem to have missed all the good shows. The wine lulls
me to a pleasant state of languor, and I let the hours pass.
On the table I pick up the red handmade card my three year
old son brought home from nursery school. There were three fold-out hearts cut
from red cardboard, with glitter smooshed on them. They contained the letters i, a squiggly 
, and a u. On the inside, it said ‘I Love You, Mom and Dad! Happy
Valentines.’
My son doesn’t know how to write yet, so the letters on the card were written by his teacher and traced over by Jeremy’s little fingers. Trust in the care of strangers to mess up the sentiment.
What forces have conspired through the years to bring me inelegantly, to this—drinking alone on a supposedly red-letter day for love? I had good wine, I had chocolate, the equation is two-thirds complete. And yes, I did get some wet sloppy kisses before this day was done, so I guess the occasion is properly marked as well.
However you spend it, happy hearts’ day, everyone.
.
Glad you came by Lamia. Do you blog too? Drop me a URL so I can buzz in. :)
Posted by: the bee | 21 February 2006 at 06:00 PM
i'm glad i discovered your blog. i just love how you write your online journal...it inspires me to be more creative, to love life, to move forward...thank you, thank you, thank you!
Posted by: lamia | 21 February 2006 at 10:20 AM
Halu Lee! Sounds like your valentines was much more colorful. Exhibit na gali si toto Dennis, I hope makatanaw ko.
Slightly buzzed ha... hmm you sound like an old married man na gid heheh!
Posted by: melissa | 17 February 2006 at 08:44 PM
so she blogs again....
hallo bandeaux,
upod kami ni snow girl, adrian, etc. at dennis ascalon's exhibit last night feasting on skyflakes with 2 dips, kinilaw nga tangigue, red wine with adrian's family name, one san mig light, i forgot the name of the last plastic cup of white wine... then jenny and i went home, me slightly buzzed. happy valentongtong...
Posted by: lee | 16 February 2006 at 12:05 PM
LOL Snow. Yes, we should have.
Posted by: melissa | 15 February 2006 at 09:00 PM
we should have gone to Bohol yesterday and had that wine, :)
Posted by: snow | 15 February 2006 at 02:19 PM